Thursday, August 27, 2009
I don't understand. I guess I never will.
Once, a friend asked if I would ever consider you as the special one, I firmly said no with the reason that it's pathetic to fight for your attention with the square box that sits in front of you all day. The one you'll never get tired of seeing, the you'll always pay full attention to when in your companion, the one who sits firmly in that important place in your heart. No, I decided then it would be damn sad that you should give more time to it than me.
Later I thought you changed. I was moved and accepted you. You were so gentle, always full of ideas and laughter. You claimed to give it all up for me. I was the happiest girl on Earth, or so I thought. Real naive of me. That square box remains the only thing you're interested in, the one you won't even let me touch at times, and the one who cause you to brush my hands irritably away on occasions. What is this? Aren't guys supposed to be abit more outdoor? Or am I destined to seek for activities companions myself while you indulge in your own cyber world?
It annoys me, your lack of interest in the world and in general knowledge. It annoys me that you hide behind the language barrier you built yourself. It annoys me that you keep asking for time and I see nothing. It annoys me that you don't have a goal to move forward to.
I know what you're capable of. I was so proud of you. I know you have good attention span, which is not reserved for me. You want only to see me when you're in the mood. I guess you're always in the mood for your little world, and I'm only second to it. How I wish to smash it into the wall, into millions of pieces, to have you wake up and take a look at the world. But how can I take it away from you, when it is basically your whole world?
All I want is for you to have more life in you, and for myself to be able to rely on you. I guess it is just too much to ask? What am I? Who exactly are you? Are you the one I danced with in the park under the stars? It was so long ago, I kind of forget how you feel like.
