Life of a small boar

I have come to realised lately that when we're too simple, we may complicate things for people around us, which in turn complicate our life.

Perhaps world nowadays have layers underneath what we see, full of hidden meanings and reasons we may overlook with our bare eyes that people tends to neglect the possibility of simplicity.

A plain smile, just because I'm happy

A simple thank you, because I'm really grateful

A sincere apology, because I do feel sorry

A hearty conversation, because I like talking

A big bear hug, because I want/need one

A genuine friendship, because I like the way you are

I don't smile with tricks lurking in my mind

I don't thank just for the sake of it

I don't say sorry just to make you feel better

I don't make conversation that mean elsethings

I don't crave for flesh fulfillments

I don't befriend for hidden reasons

Be true to me, and you'll see what I'll do for you

One chance to my sincerity

Don't toy with my emotion

For I will not look back

However, at times

it's not enough that we understand these simplicity,

when others don't

Most people pass by my life,
walking in and leaving with minimal significance

Some came into my heart,
leave their footprints but left again like most

Few impacted my life deeply,
and chose to stay to this day

Welcome to my life, I hope you stay =)

There are times when I just feel useless, powerless. I wish I can do something, but I dunno what to do, just in case it makes things worse. Yet, I can't just ignore it till you get over it yourself. *what a thing to do*

So I pray that God will do something. I know He will, and I know, that you know too. =)

It's amazing sometimes, how God knows exactly what we need and desire. He knows what I need, in this monotonous life I have in UTP, the desires I have to break this boring routine. His blessing and grace is more than enough for us. It might not have been what I had in mind, perhaps not the usual shopping therapy I normally yearn for, but it's better.

The Lord blessed me in the form of Vinod, Edmund and Angie =D It was some awesome time. Thanks, guys =D and a hearty thank to our Lord, Father. Huggies ALL (^.^)

I cannot believe it. Totally.....
How can something like this happen? It's not supposed to happen.

I'm lost. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do.

It must hurt more to you than to anyone else now, I know you don't want to worry us, but sometimes, it's okay to be weak. Just want you to know that we're here. Love you.....

Due to the finals, i spent the past 3-4 weeks camping in IRC, UTP's library with my coursemates. When things got bored, this is what we do...

I was supposed to write this weeks ago, but with finals and all, I was just too lazy to sit down and write a proper post.

On the night before 2nd of May, a friend invited me to go mountain hiking. I was supposed to have praise and worship practice on that particular day, but I talked my worship team leader into letting me off. Seriously, I was kinda worried on how to face God if I happen to fall down the cliff and transported back 'home' during the climb. Good thing He decided it wasn't my time yet ^.^ In fact, I believed later that I was meant to go because along the journey, I learnt several valuable lessons. Understandings on some things just popped into my head one after another.

I was still lively and bubbly at the start, enjoying the view, the breeze and the relaxation of the walk, thinking that it would be just like that throughout the journey. Naive.... Not long after we started, i started to pant. There weren't any proper route and some parts were pretty sloppy. Man, I was so out of shape, stamina gone down the valley. I bet my Taekwon-do coach won't dare to admit that I was once in the Shadow Team >.<). Thanks to a friend who noticed my discomfort( I bet it was pretty obvious >.<)he gave me his hand and guided me through the rest of the climb. With his assuring lead, my senses came slowly back to me, relieved somehow to feel that there's someone I can rely on physically. He was very encouraging, talking and motivating me all the way. Mostly, i only manage to nod and smile. But many things were running through my mind.

1. Finishing the race
The first thing that ran through my mind was pastor's repeated urging for us to run and finish the race. The spiritual race for every Christian is not an easy one. We need to be strong enough not only to face obstacles but also the overcome our own weaknesses. Most times when the spirit is willing, our body tend to fail us. So weak is our body. However, we must make our body obey us, and not submitting to its frailness.

2. Importance of brothers and sisters in Christ
Many times when I felt like just giving up, his endless motivations kept me going. No one can run the race alone, we all need someone to pull us up when we stumble.

3. Recognizing God's presence and learn to rely on Him
Often, we feel safe when we can see help physically. I can trust immediately in the aid that came with his extended hand but often, when God tried to reach out to us, to comfort and hold us in our fear, the lack of faith in Him prevented us from receiving the peace He guaranteed us. I must learn to rely and walk towards God's open arms just as I had accepted my friend's help without doubt.

4. Greatest fall/obstacle may come just right before we finish the race
The destination was just 2 meters away, one last slope and I could proudly say i conquered the hill. But as I raised my right foot, pain shot through my muscle, all the way up my thigh and I can't help but collapse. I experienced one the worst cramp I've ever had. Things got worse when I tried to move my left leg and the same thing happened. Cramp on both legs, that was a first. I had to sit down with my legs stretched for 10 whole minutes before I can relax the muscle.

5. Fix our sight on the Lord/ mind over body
If we focus on finishing the race instead of the hardship or fear for our surroundings, we gain more strength to move forward. At the end of the day, everything will be worth it. One example from the bible was Peter walking on water. He made a few steps when he fixed his eyes on Jesus, but when he looked around and saw the roaring sea, fear seeped into him and he began to drown.

The climb was a great experience. Though it was hard for me, and I still felt wobbly a long time after reaching the top, the value of this experience is inexplicable. Still, I managed to take some photos. =P

Coursemates
From the left: Ronny, me and Andrey

Days have been hectic, as expected of UTP life. Last week's Melodious Rendezvous was wonderful. Although only half of the hall if filled, 1000 is quite a big group of audience. Here are some photos...

Our section head, girl from keat hwa... only 17!

Guy in the middle, Wen Zhun, a prominent flutist (di zhi player) in Malaysia. Only 24.. haih, why these people can have success in life so early

My dearests
Karen - from KL to Ipoh, next day had to go all the way to sitiawan to go back KL
Keat How and Amy - from Johor, 20 hours to and fro
Thank you soooo much guys... Hugs hugs

The girl is Laura. Super tall, and pretty =P
The man is our instructor. Malaysia's best conductor 2008

Miss XiYao Chen - world's top 10 er hu player
she was awesome during the concert

I don't like you,
I don't need your flattery, nor do I welcome your criticism,
You will never understand what friendship means to me
You, who smirk at people who loves
You, who sneer at people who trust
You, who cannot accept love between friends
You, who knows only knows love as 'turn on'
You, who says hurtful things and brush them off as jokes
You, who cannot handle rejection

Do not have baseless expectations on me,
you'll only disappoint yourself
Do not insist me to be who you imagined me to be,
you'll only be shocked at how different we actually are

I am me!
Happy to be me..
I'm content with my life,
I already have the most important things in life,
a family that loves me, a boyfriend that loves me, the most wonderful friends that love me
I have dreams, future and hope
Why should I find thrills to fill my emptiness?
Sometimes I seek excitements for fun, not to fill in any hollowness within me
But I guess this is something you'll not understand either

You lost my friendship, the day you attacked me with your vicious words
I gave you one chance to my sincerity
but you treated it callously
So no matter how well you think you treat me, you'll always be just
an acquaintance

I'm currently living in the midst of war zone. Help..............

When I am gone
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I will not be there

When I am gone
Do not look at photo of me and weep
Smile instead in memory of me

When I am gone
Do not reminisce on us and weep
Rejoice in what we have built

When I am gone
Do not be haunted by loneliness and weep
I will still be close to you

Here I contribute an idea for your birthday present. So now you can ask another friend to contribute the present ^.^


*sorry chabo, I couldn't do something more fancy here coz I'm in the midst of finals. Still, wish you all the best and may God showers you with rains of blessings. Hugs

A friend got me thinking.

Do you think it's worth getting all you want yet being put in a surrounding that you dislike?

Like being able to go to the university I want, having the scholarship I want, taking the course I want, yet lose all freedom and not being with people I want to be with.

Who can say what weigh more?

I guess only the one who made the decision can really judge. Given another chance, I believe I'll make the same decision. Coming to UTP enable me to take the course I want, the scholarship greatly lift my parent's financial burden and this separation motivates my dearest to strive for the better. So what if I'm a little unhappy compared to before? I guess sometimes, some things are worh the sacrifices. It's just the matter of how you see it. Knowing all these however, does not make me any happier. So what exactly weigh more?

Hey guys.... sorry for neglecting this place for a while. I had been quite busy. I had my 1st release out of UTP, Tronoh last weekend, and I had a blast in KL, and Skudai, Johor. I had a great time shopping, and window shopping. And convo was superb. Though it was hot and the 'grand dinner' UTM provided for first class holder wasn't much, it was so much fun meeting up with old friends again, especially my classmates. I'm so glad things hasn't change between us, we still cherish our courmate-ships, though we're scattered into 3 different classes now, with me being the furthest.

From the left, me, June, Emily.

Well, some guys for you to 'kap'
From the left, Keat How, Ah Ham, Jun Yik, Aik Loong, Kenny and Kai Siang.


These are my coursemates, and our favourite lecturer.
He's a real sport. He takes off his shoes and sit on the table when he teaches us lab =P
Guys who make face better than me,
2nd price, Aik Loong!!

The ten sisters, the pretty ones in UTM.. haha =D
1st row(sitting) from the left: Pak, Yen Li, June, Amy, May
2nd row: Stella, Wan Lin, Emily, Fei, Sarah

Look at us, I don't have to say much =P

One of my favourite pic, coz I appear small. hehe
My fav, fav 'da ge'.
I'm grateful to have him around for the past 3 years. Miss him a great deal.

UTM is HUGE!!! I hurts so much walking around in heels and the robe, my feet was so sore it still feels numb the second day, and there were so many hills, going up and down. I ended up taking off the heels and walking barefooted with the heels in my hands. Makes me real glas UTP's less than 1/3 the size of UTM. =D Still, a had an awesome time there.

rmb ur scrunhy fetish? =)