Life of a small boar

*A visitor at a fishing dock asked an old fisherman who was sitting there, "If I were to fall into this water, would I drown?" It was a strange way of asking how deep the water was, but the fisherman had a good answer. "No. Falling into the water doesn't drown anybody. It's staying under it that does." Remember … temptation is not sin. It is an invitation to sin. Just say “no.”*

Dear Father, I pray that You help us to stay far from the edge of they dock. Keep us from playing at the edge and prevent us from dipping our feet in to taste that calm and inviting cool water when it might satisfy us just temporarily. Especially when we can't even swim! Grant us wisdom, Lord, that your children will learn to obey Your instructions and do things the way You planned, to take Your hand and follow You step by step. Give us strength to be disciplined and obedient because to You we want to surrender our life. To You all the brothers and sisters in Christ I commit and in Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

Passage below taken from girlfriendsingod.com devotional material.

*Dr. Billy Graham tells the story of a little child who was playing with a very valuable vase. The child put his hand into the vase but could not pull it out. His father tried to free the little boy’s hand, but couldn’t. They were thinking of breaking the vase when the father said, “Son, let’s try one more time. Open your hand and hold your fingers out really straight and then pull.” The look of alarm on the boy’s face surprised the dad until the little boy explained, “Oh no, Father. I can’t hold my fingers like that. If I did, I would drop my penny.”

Many of us are like that little boy – holding onto something that is keeping us from letting go and letting God have His way in our lives. It doesn’t really matter what that something is. If it is keeping us from surrendering to God, it is our captor and we are its hostage.*

Dear Father, I want to be set free. Please, help me let go of what I feel is of value to me(the penny) so I can have complete release from the bondage(the vase). I didn't realize how hard I have been holding this penny in my palm until I start to hurt myself with the strong grasp, affecting not just my palm or hands but my whole body. It also hinders other routines or activities of the body. Lord, I want to be set free. Thank you for your love, Lord. In Jesus's name I pray, Amen.

"True love germinates in the soil of sacrifice, sprouts in the garden of surrender, and matures in a matrimony of servanthood. Love isn't love until it has cost you something to give it away."

Sometimes, it is hard to understand
Sometimes, a lil confusing

Yet however ridiculous it may seem
I know I can trust

I'm learning to be still and listen to Your voice. At times when You speak and it did not seem to make sense to me, I'm learning to submit and surrender. End of the day, I know You'll grant me peace and joy. Nothing else matter. =)

I love You

Thank you Lord,

For the result you gave me last sem. It is just as I hoped/aimed, not more, not less. Of course I wouldn't have mind a better grade,(who would?), but this gpa is just what I had declared I would be satisfied with, and so I am. =)


Dear DSP,

I can't believe how good you are to me. Dengan dukacitanya though, I have to tell you that we definitely can't go on. The problem is definitely with me. You see, I happen to love MicroC more although she doesn't think much of me at the moment. I'm confident I can change her mind. =) However, I will tell people how wonderful you are. Thank you for not holding grudges.

Lots of love,
~~~me~~~

Something I found while I browse through blogs which I find rather interesting and touching. When Jesus says that He knocks and waits outside the door of our hearts, He is that humble. Heck, He even sends out CV(all those leaflets) when we reject Him point blank. He seeks every way of reaching us, wishing to grant us abundant life. How any of us are willing to sign Him a life contract with immediate effect?


Jesus' CV
My name is Jesus - The Christ. many call me Lord! I've sent you my CV because I'm seeking the top management position in your heart. Please consider my accomplistment as set forth in my CV.

Qualifications

I founded the Earth and establish the heavens, (See Proverbs 3:19)

I formed man from dusts on the ground, (See Genesis 2:7)

I breathed into man the breath of life, (See Genesis 2:7)

I redeemed man from the curse of law, (See Galatians 3:13)

The blessings of the Abrahamic Covenant comes upong your life through me, (See Galatians 3:14)


Occupational Background

I've only had one employer, (See Luke 2:49)

I've never been tardy, absent, disobedient, slothful or disrespectful.

My employer has nothing but rave reviews for me, (See Matthew 3:15-17)


Skills and Work Experience

Some of my skills and work experience include: empowering the poor to be poor no more, healing the brokenhearted, setting the captives free, healing the sick, restoring sight to the blind and setting at liberty those that are bruised, (See Luke 4:18)

I am a Wonderful Counselor, (See Isaiah 9:6).

People who listen to me shall dwell safely and shall not fear evil, (See Proverbs 1:33)

Most imprtantly, I have the authority, ability and power to cleanse you off your sins, (see John 1:7-9)


Educational Background

I encompass the entire breadth and length of knowledge, wisdom and understanding, (See Proverbs 2:6)

In me are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge, (See Colossians 2:3)

My Word is so powerful, it has been described as being a light unto your feet and lamp unto your path, (See Psalms 119:105)

I can even tell you all of the secrets of your heart, (See Psalms 44:21)


Major Accomplishments

I was an active participan in the the greatest Summit meeting of all times, (See Genesis 1:26)

I laid down my life so that you may live, (See II Corinthians 5:15)

I defeated the archenemy of God and mankind and made a show of them openly, (See Colossians 2:15)

I miraculously fed the poor, healed the sick and raised the dead! There are many more major accomplisments, too many to mention here. you can read them on my website which is located and www dot - the BIBLE. You don't need an internet connection or computer to access my website.


References

Believers and followers worldwide will testify to my divine healings, salvation, deliverance, miracles, restoration and supernatural guidance.


In Summation

Now that you've read my CV, I'm confident that I'm the only candidate uniquely qualified to fill this vital position in your heart.

In summation, I will properly direct your paths, (See Proverbs 3:5-6), and lead you into everlasting life, (See John 6:47)

When can I start?

I was supposed to write this weeks ago, but with finals and all, I was just too lazy to sit down and write a proper post.

On the night before 2nd of May, a friend invited me to go mountain hiking. I was supposed to have praise and worship practice on that particular day, but I talked my worship team leader into letting me off. Seriously, I was kinda worried on how to face God if I happen to fall down the cliff and transported back 'home' during the climb. Good thing He decided it wasn't my time yet ^.^ In fact, I believed later that I was meant to go because along the journey, I learnt several valuable lessons. Understandings on some things just popped into my head one after another.

I was still lively and bubbly at the start, enjoying the view, the breeze and the relaxation of the walk, thinking that it would be just like that throughout the journey. Naive.... Not long after we started, i started to pant. There weren't any proper route and some parts were pretty sloppy. Man, I was so out of shape, stamina gone down the valley. I bet my Taekwon-do coach won't dare to admit that I was once in the Shadow Team >.<). Thanks to a friend who noticed my discomfort( I bet it was pretty obvious >.<)he gave me his hand and guided me through the rest of the climb. With his assuring lead, my senses came slowly back to me, relieved somehow to feel that there's someone I can rely on physically. He was very encouraging, talking and motivating me all the way. Mostly, i only manage to nod and smile. But many things were running through my mind.

1. Finishing the race
The first thing that ran through my mind was pastor's repeated urging for us to run and finish the race. The spiritual race for every Christian is not an easy one. We need to be strong enough not only to face obstacles but also the overcome our own weaknesses. Most times when the spirit is willing, our body tend to fail us. So weak is our body. However, we must make our body obey us, and not submitting to its frailness.

2. Importance of brothers and sisters in Christ
Many times when I felt like just giving up, his endless motivations kept me going. No one can run the race alone, we all need someone to pull us up when we stumble.

3. Recognizing God's presence and learn to rely on Him
Often, we feel safe when we can see help physically. I can trust immediately in the aid that came with his extended hand but often, when God tried to reach out to us, to comfort and hold us in our fear, the lack of faith in Him prevented us from receiving the peace He guaranteed us. I must learn to rely and walk towards God's open arms just as I had accepted my friend's help without doubt.

4. Greatest fall/obstacle may come just right before we finish the race
The destination was just 2 meters away, one last slope and I could proudly say i conquered the hill. But as I raised my right foot, pain shot through my muscle, all the way up my thigh and I can't help but collapse. I experienced one the worst cramp I've ever had. Things got worse when I tried to move my left leg and the same thing happened. Cramp on both legs, that was a first. I had to sit down with my legs stretched for 10 whole minutes before I can relax the muscle.

5. Fix our sight on the Lord/ mind over body
If we focus on finishing the race instead of the hardship or fear for our surroundings, we gain more strength to move forward. At the end of the day, everything will be worth it. One example from the bible was Peter walking on water. He made a few steps when he fixed his eyes on Jesus, but when he looked around and saw the roaring sea, fear seeped into him and he began to drown.

The climb was a great experience. Though it was hard for me, and I still felt wobbly a long time after reaching the top, the value of this experience is inexplicable. Still, I managed to take some photos. =P

Coursemates
From the left: Ronny, me and Andrey

A friend told me today that:
There are only two types of people who will face failures in life;

the one who does not listen to anyone

and the one who listen to everyone



But for me, I think the only type of people who are a real success is;

the one who obeys the Lord

I didn't know I was thirsty,
until I tasted water again.

The water of life is ever so sweet.

*Actually, I wrote this years ago back in 2004. I came across it again when I read my xanga blog few days ago, and I think it's a good reminder to myself how much the Lord has done for me over the years.

For years I roamed the deserted land

Pondering the reason being forsaken

Now I understand the miracle done

For indeed I am the blessed one

I do not belong to the Earthly world

For of all those numerous girls

I belong to Jesus, my life and soul

Cause he once bought me, his life sold

Never grief the rejection here

Our home is where the angels stay

The time will come when Jesus will say

You're coming home, yes today's the day

So mourn no more over physical misfit

God created us different and unique

Praise the Lord for the love He pours

Which gently opened our locked heart-doors

One of the most inspirational verse I heard during the sermon in Hope Church, Ipoh last Sunday is this.

*Conscience is like a triangle in our heart which turns whenever we sin. The sharp points of the triangle will then hurt us and we know that we had done something wrong. However, if we keep sinning, the sharp edges will wear off and we will soon feel and fear nothing when we sin.*

That is like our skin without the pain detector. If we feel nothing when we're cut amd thus do nothing about it, we will soon bleed to death. So lets pray that we have clear conscience at all time.

Life may not be perfect, but it definitely isn't dull, espeacially when God's your leader.

I was thinking about changing my course to ICT. Initially, I had wanted to apply for software engineering. However, I couldn't find it under the number of choices given. So i applied for E&E, and that's what Petronas gave me. Later, I found out that ICT majors in software engineering and my heart have been itching to change course. what made me hesitate though, is that ICT is not pure software, and there are more to it such as business, and technologies. I needed to confirm what I'll be studying if I do change my course, but there was no one to ask. The only and best person to ask is Edrea, and she's not here in Malaysia. i didn't know what to do.

Lat night, I had a dream. I dreamt that I met Edrea at a school gathering, and I asked her what I wanted to know. She told me that although there is a large portion of software in ICT, the business and technologies parts are not something I can ignore as well, and there are quite a lot of memorizing. She advised me that if the only reason I want to change is because I like programming, then I shouldn't, for E&E does has its share of programming too. Then I woke up, feeling certain God had reassured my path again. I'm so blessed.

I was doing bible reading few days ago when I came across this;

There are seven things that the Lord hates and cannot tolerate.
A proud look,
A lying tongue,
Hands that kill innocent people,
A mind that thinks up wicked plans,
Feet that hurries off to do evil,
A witness that tells one lie after another,
And someone who stirs up trouble among friends.
~Proverb 7:16 – 19~

These verses immediately caught my attention and had me in pensive. I had a brief self inspection, wondering if I had unconsciously fall into any of these pits, for if they are thing that the Lord cannot tolerates, then it wouldn’t do me good to be put in God’s black list.
I don’t mean that I’m totally free from the other six wrong doings, but I believe that the one I’m most guilty of, is the proud look. Not only do I have a proud look, but also a proud heart and thought. It’s no wonder that God had tried numerous times to humble me, but being my conceited self, I was blind to God’s loving lessons.

It all started with an 8A1s and 2B3s for SPM. I know most people will not consider this a bad result, but for me, it was a total disappointment. I expected better of myself. To explain this, I have to start from my early childhood.

I am a very blessed child, given a good brain and learning ability from God. Even now, mom still brags to willing ears how I started walking when I was only 9 months old, when most toddlers were only trying to stand firm on their legs. I graduated with flying colors in kindergarten, bombarded with the teachers’ praises and compliments.

When I was in primary school, I won plentiful competitions for my school. I represented my school in mathematics competition, storytelling competitions, public speaking, reading competition, essay writing competition, short put, netball, and the school prefect. I was labeled one of the school’s gem. Do you believe me if I say I did not getting all smug? Oh, and I obtained straight As for UPSR, the only one from my year among my relatives. Imagine my mom’s delight…. = =

I wasn’t that competitive anymore, when I was in secondary school. I did not take up that many competitions, nor did I study consistently anymore, burning midnight oils only a few days before each examination. However, the Lord blessed me with a good memory and I still did well, keeping my rank in the class within the top ten. My ability for fast learning enabled me to catch up with what the teacher taught in a short time even if I was far behind syllabus near exams. I was very impatient with mates who were slower, and did not understand why some people need a long time to grasp a concept. I was willing to teach others, but get really hot tempered when they don’t get what I was trying to say, because I did not appreciate my quick brain, and did not realize that not everyone was as lucky. By the end of form 3, I obtained another straight As, this time for PMR.

Although I joined Taekwon-do in form 2, it had no significance in my life until I was in Form 4. I was urged by a senior to join the state championship. Willing to give it a go, I started on an intensive training designed by the senior. With only two weeks of proper training, I came home with 3 gold medals and a silver. I was only a blue-belt holder then. Another 5 or 6 levels to black belt, and the lowest color in my category. However, I defeated most higher belt holders to victory. Everything that happened after that was a blur. I was still in daze over my win, and was later hand-picked by the instructor to join the state team’s training, a chance to be in the state team itself for the coming national ranked tournament. A blue belt holder among all those black belts. It was certainly a glorious moment. Taekwon-do turned into a large portion of my life overnight. After 6 months of competitions gruesome training, I was confirmed a place in the state team. Three more months later, I went to my first national-ranked tournament and came back with a gold medal.

All my successes put my head above the clouds. Although I don’t usually show it, I had full confident in whatever I do. Whichever goal I made, I was certain I was capable of achieving it. Yes, I did pray for God’s blessing before each test or competitions. I knew it was by God’s grace that my path was smooth. However, there were this tiny voice in my head that kept telling me that I was proficient, and very capable. I was proud. I knew these were all God’s blessings, but I was proud of even that, proud to have God’s blessing because I believed that God don’t just choose anyone to pour His blessing on. I was proud to be chosen.

So when I was on my way to school that morning, to see our SPM result, I was positive that I will attain another set of straight As. Therefore, for the first time in all those years, I was crushed. It felt like a race where I was leading and it was just a few meters to the finish line when I tripped over a small rock and fell face down. You wouldn’t see much impair, but it was down right embarrassing and and pride hurt big time.

That was God’s first attempt to humble me, but I did not learn, until much later.

Had my first final paper today - Industrial Automation and Robotics.... Sounds boring? It is...

I spent my entire day playing test twirl on facebook yesterday. In between, I ate snacks, played with my hamsters, ate snacks, loiter on net, had dinner... but I still did study a little la... and I believe it was quite enough to get A la... I actually finished studying a little after 12am, and spent 3 hours online reading blogs. That was when I discovered josey's and lee shing's blog. And it was last night I decided to take a look at Kenny Sia's blog. It was quite entertaining and some were really hilarious. The MMU prom night post had me roaring with laughter. After having a blast online, I yawned - sign that it was time to sleep. So I said good night to my hammies and climbed into bed. I had some small talk with God and closed my eyes blissfully. That was when..... I heard.... someone whispered urgently to me saying

'CALCULATIONS!'

OMG!! I forgot to study the calculation part for today's test. I quickly kicked my blanket aside, bolted up and started memorising the formulas. God, I'm so blessed.

Maybe, I should not again refer to such situations as;
~I heard a voice in my head saying....~
~I felt someone telling me tat...~
~A thought flashed through my mind, showing that....~

By now, I should have recognise these are God's words for me, helping me in my everyday life. Reminding me small things I forget, and gently tugging me back to the right path when I walk astray. God grants me such personal in intimate relationship although I'm not the least near perfection in His eyes. I am so blessed.

It was a life changing day.

I went to an evangelistic assembly(at the Tarbenacle of David) with Keat How. It was themed The Might of ressurrection. It was the first time he saw God's Spirit at work, so strongly felt the presence of theh Lord. Everyone in the hall was affected. Lots of unbelievers bow down before the cross that night, to receive Jesus as their Saviour.

At the begining of the sermon, when the pastor asked why do believe that there are germs on our hands when we couldn't see them with our bare eyes, yet most of us refused to believe in Christ just because we've never seen Him with our eyes. A doctor raised his hand and said haughtily that he had seen germs on his hands, with microscope of course. Yet in the end, he came humbly before the Lord and excepted Him. i was touched by his attitude. Like Peter who first denied Jesus, but later did all he could to spread the gospel.

How fortunate we are, who see only after we believe. The pastor urged us not to be Thomas, who only believed not only after he saw, but after he touched the wounds on Jesus's hands. These disbelieving lots will lost countless of blessings. It was kind of the pastor to call for repentance before performing God's miracle, so those who believed and see, did not lose their blessings.

It was a real different experience for me, too. I saw with my own eyes, some petite girls grown taller when the pastors prayed for them. Those with an arm shorter than the other, they were cured on the spot too. Actually, I had never realised that my left arm was a whole inch shorter than my right arm! A pastor prayed for me, I felt a gentle touch on my biceps, and it just grew! It just grew longer! And stopped when it leveled with my right arm. The pastor also prayed for my migrain, and my travel sickness. I did not get dizzy anymore when I came to campus with bus this morning. Praise the Lord! Besides, I also asked for another life changing factor, and it's going to happen over the next six month. Or maybe I should say that it had started, and the transformation will last six months. What is it? not telling. I'm sure you can tell. So watch me =) Praise the Lord, He controls all, and He listens to our prayers.

I am a very blessed girl. I hope to be a blessing to others. God bless you all.