Life of a small boar

Today, the hydrangea in my house reminded me again why it's my favorite flower. Its color had changed, from last week's blueish-purple to maroon-green.

Since I'm on the topic, second in line on my favorite list would be the plumeria. Used to be my favorite back in high school, before I came to know of hydrangea.

Simply let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no','no'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one. Matthew 5:37

Although vows and oaths are common, Jesus taught that our words alone should be enough if we are known as persons of our word. Truthfulness seems rare nowadays that we feel we must end our statements with 'I promise.' However, if we tell the truth at all times, we wouldn't feel the need to back our our words with oaths.

Above all, my brothers, do not swear - not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no', 'no' or you will be condemned. James 5:12

Some may say that truth is often the sharpest dagger,
and lies at most times are kindness....

I want my simple words to be believable.
I will choose truth.

Similarly,
I wish I can always believe you

對這個世界如果你有太多的抱怨
dui zhe ge shi jie ru guo ni you tai duo de bao yuan

跌倒了就不敢繼續往前走
die dao le jiu bu gan ji xu wang qian zhou

為什麼人要這麼的脆弱 墮落
wei she me ren yao zhe me de cui ruo duo luo

請你打開電視看看
qing ni da kai dian shi kan kan

多少人為生命在努力勇敢的走下去
duo shao ren wei sheng ming zai nu li yong gan de zhou xia qu

我們是不是該知足
wo men shi bu shi gai zhi zu

珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有
zhen xi yi qie jiu xuan mei you yong you

When you harbor endless whines and complains towards the world
When you fall and loose the guts to move forwards
Why are human such weak creatures?
Would you please on the television
and see how many are fighting courageously to move forward in life?
Shouldn't we be contented?
Appreciate everything even if you think you don't have much

While news of animal testing lab is all hyped, when every other day we hear of pets abandoned, doggies put to sleep just because of mild injuries, when we can't help but question human hearts nowadays, a picture like this reminds me that someone cares and the world is not yet hopeless.

Life goes on for this brown darling. It doesn't look depressed. In fact, it's far from depressed. *what don't breaks us makes us stronger* It's an amazing sight =)

ps. if only our community cares just s much for these adorable creatures.

I seriously don't like working(from current experience), but I prefer working to studying.

I really enjoy study life(minus the 1st month of depression in UTP), but I still prefer working to studying.

Does this make sense to any of you?

Luckily, Amoi assured me that it's not because I'm money-faced. Well, not the sole reason, at least.

Hope I can find myself a likable job in future, so life will be more fulfilling =)

This is somewhat inspired by a videoclip ' ', although it was of a totally different topic. Please pardon my very amateur mandarin. I'm sorry if I used any characters wrongly.

我相信,人類最想的到的果應該是如果吧，

對于往事的遺憾；

如果當時我董事一點

如果我再努力一些

如果我多愛他一點

如果我當時收好一點

如果我早一點到

à什么什么就不會發生了

對于當下的埋怨還有將來的可望；

如果天氣可以涼一點

如果我的房子再大一點

如果我的攻潛多一點

如果我的車子快一點

如果我長的漂亮一點

如果我發財了 =.=’

如果我結婚了

如果我出名了

à 我就可以或能夠什么什么了

如果好像可以帶來無數的希望和可能 性(給第二種的人)

同時也帶來了痛苦和折磨(給第一種的人)

很多人都抱這如果過日子

也有人因為如果而害怕

對于將來的當心;

如果他不愛我了

如果我死了

如果我東西被偷了

如果我段了腿或手

à 我以后該這么辦呢?

為什么我們都不能好好的以眼前所看 到的,所擁有的,所發生的滿足快樂的走下去呢? 在我能控制之下我選擇不要這么累的活。你呢？

Just because something looks pretty and reflects light does not mean that it is a gem.

Just because it captures and traps the beautiful rainbow does not mean that it's a crystal.

It can be a brilliant work of glass, pretending it's worth more than just that

It can be a cleverly made plastic, meant to imitate the look of a diamond's every beauty

Or it can be a luminous sculpture of ice, mesmerizing but will melt to nothing in my grasp

I guess you're a little of all

A wonderful carved piece of perhaps the highest quality of brittle glass

Pleasant to the eyes of many, a proud possession I seem to have, but I alone know the value you hold

Not very much

An old amethyst may not look as radiant

a ruby might not sparkle as you do

an aquamarine might not have the crystal-clear beauty you possess

but they're true and real

and will not change through time and trials

Am I toying with fire?

I see the surface of the lake.
It's calm, with hints of breeze
Dragonflies tips playfully on it
It reflects still a smiling face of me

Am I stirring the water from beneath far beyond the surface?
Is it the root I'm starting a havoc at?
How much can it take before tranquility is disrupted?
How much more, before mud pollute the clear?

Or is it all just in my head?
Dreams of the green grass will always be a dream the lake don't reflect
when I look deep into the depth.

I don't understand. I guess I never will.

Once, a friend asked if I would ever consider you as the special one, I firmly said no with the reason that it's pathetic to fight for your attention with the square box that sits in front of you all day. The one you'll never get tired of seeing, the you'll always pay full attention to when in your companion, the one who sits firmly in that important place in your heart. No, I decided then it would be damn sad that you should give more time to it than me.

Later I thought you changed. I was moved and accepted you. You were so gentle, always full of ideas and laughter. You claimed to give it all up for me. I was the happiest girl on Earth, or so I thought. Real naive of me. That square box remains the only thing you're interested in, the one you won't even let me touch at times, and the one who cause you to brush my hands irritably away on occasions. What is this? Aren't guys supposed to be abit more outdoor? Or am I destined to seek for activities companions myself while you indulge in your own cyber world?

It annoys me, your lack of interest in the world and in general knowledge. It annoys me that you hide behind the language barrier you built yourself. It annoys me that you keep asking for time and I see nothing. It annoys me that you don't have a goal to move forward to.

I know what you're capable of. I was so proud of you. I know you have good attention span, which is not reserved for me. You want only to see me when you're in the mood. I guess you're always in the mood for your little world, and I'm only second to it. How I wish to smash it into the wall, into millions of pieces, to have you wake up and take a look at the world. But how can I take it away from you, when it is basically your whole world?

All I want is for you to have more life in you, and for myself to be able to rely on you. I guess it is just too much to ask? What am I? Who exactly are you? Are you the one I danced with in the park under the stars? It was so long ago, I kind of forget how you feel like.

Most of the time, I believe that male is the complicated one between the two species. However at occasions, I tend to think that males, regardless of age, young, adult, grown up or old, will always be just a boy at heart.

I cannot believe it. Totally.....
How can something like this happen? It's not supposed to happen.

I'm lost. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do.

It must hurt more to you than to anyone else now, I know you don't want to worry us, but sometimes, it's okay to be weak. Just want you to know that we're here. Love you.....

I waited for you to turn around
I wished for loving gaze
I longed for your protective embrace

At times I fell, I sobbed
and yearned for your out-reached hands.
As time and coldness proved your absence, I learnt
to stand up and wipe my own tears.

Once I thought I found the one,
Once I believed in perfection,
Once I know no heartache,
I was the luckiest girl alive.

I wanted to call it quits.
Days of indifference I'd endure no more.
I knew the passion that I had lost some times ago
can no longer be rekindled.

I was tired,
tired of running to you,
tired of being turned away,
tired of waiting,
tired of hoping,
tired of making all the effort
but end up instead with dullness in
my own spirit and soul.
It was over.

You surprised me with your will to hang on
You, who seldom make any decision
You, who let me take the lead always
You, who were passive in making plans
You, who prefered a laid-nack relationship

I was moved,
At least I still mean something to you
How much and how far are you willing to go for us?

It is my turn to watch, and
your turn to run after me........

Sometimes, I wonder if you're conscious of our presence
When we look at you in marvel,
at things you do in awe,

I'm amazed at the simpleness of your thoughts
at the small world you live in
as you struggle with each steps forward

Do you grasp the meaning of
the applause when you complete a task
the joy of those who see you progress
the hope many have for your growth

Does it hurt you when people look at you differently
when people whisper as they point
when pity is shown and they treat you delicately

I wish I can do more to ease the world you live in
I wish I can understand things you are trying to reach us in your own unique way
I wish parents can see you as a gift in their lives
I wish the world can acknowledge you as part of the society

I will do in the little way I can to help your walk to be a smoother one
because you are in no way different from us in God's eye....

I was supposed to write this weeks ago, but with finals and all, I was just too lazy to sit down and write a proper post.

On the night before 2nd of May, a friend invited me to go mountain hiking. I was supposed to have praise and worship practice on that particular day, but I talked my worship team leader into letting me off. Seriously, I was kinda worried on how to face God if I happen to fall down the cliff and transported back 'home' during the climb. Good thing He decided it wasn't my time yet ^.^ In fact, I believed later that I was meant to go because along the journey, I learnt several valuable lessons. Understandings on some things just popped into my head one after another.

I was still lively and bubbly at the start, enjoying the view, the breeze and the relaxation of the walk, thinking that it would be just like that throughout the journey. Naive.... Not long after we started, i started to pant. There weren't any proper route and some parts were pretty sloppy. Man, I was so out of shape, stamina gone down the valley. I bet my Taekwon-do coach won't dare to admit that I was once in the Shadow Team >.<). Thanks to a friend who noticed my discomfort( I bet it was pretty obvious >.<)he gave me his hand and guided me through the rest of the climb. With his assuring lead, my senses came slowly back to me, relieved somehow to feel that there's someone I can rely on physically. He was very encouraging, talking and motivating me all the way. Mostly, i only manage to nod and smile. But many things were running through my mind.

1. Finishing the race
The first thing that ran through my mind was pastor's repeated urging for us to run and finish the race. The spiritual race for every Christian is not an easy one. We need to be strong enough not only to face obstacles but also the overcome our own weaknesses. Most times when the spirit is willing, our body tend to fail us. So weak is our body. However, we must make our body obey us, and not submitting to its frailness.

2. Importance of brothers and sisters in Christ
Many times when I felt like just giving up, his endless motivations kept me going. No one can run the race alone, we all need someone to pull us up when we stumble.

3. Recognizing God's presence and learn to rely on Him
Often, we feel safe when we can see help physically. I can trust immediately in the aid that came with his extended hand but often, when God tried to reach out to us, to comfort and hold us in our fear, the lack of faith in Him prevented us from receiving the peace He guaranteed us. I must learn to rely and walk towards God's open arms just as I had accepted my friend's help without doubt.

4. Greatest fall/obstacle may come just right before we finish the race
The destination was just 2 meters away, one last slope and I could proudly say i conquered the hill. But as I raised my right foot, pain shot through my muscle, all the way up my thigh and I can't help but collapse. I experienced one the worst cramp I've ever had. Things got worse when I tried to move my left leg and the same thing happened. Cramp on both legs, that was a first. I had to sit down with my legs stretched for 10 whole minutes before I can relax the muscle.

5. Fix our sight on the Lord/ mind over body
If we focus on finishing the race instead of the hardship or fear for our surroundings, we gain more strength to move forward. At the end of the day, everything will be worth it. One example from the bible was Peter walking on water. He made a few steps when he fixed his eyes on Jesus, but when he looked around and saw the roaring sea, fear seeped into him and he began to drown.

The climb was a great experience. Though it was hard for me, and I still felt wobbly a long time after reaching the top, the value of this experience is inexplicable. Still, I managed to take some photos. =P

A friend told me today that:
There are only two types of people who will face failures in life;

the one who does not listen to anyone

and the one who listen to everyone



But for me, I think the only type of people who are a real success is;

the one who obeys the Lord

Sometimes, I wonder.....
What matters more to you

No mood
Why
Because my life is so unhappening that I'm bored?
Or because so much things happened that I'm tired
Funny, I can't even tell the difference

Sick, for over 10 days now....
Sick of being sick
Hope I shed some kilos

Frustrated
with the slow internet connection
not much I can do on line

Malaysia is sooo happening, eh?
Hope someone will soon circulate proof of atlantulya with N*a-hem*
That will certainly be more interesting

When I am gone
Do not stand at my grave and weep
I will not be there

When I am gone
Do not look at photo of me and weep
Smile instead in memory of me

When I am gone
Do not reminisce on us and weep
Rejoice in what we have built

When I am gone
Do not be haunted by loneliness and weep
I will still be close to you