Life of a small boar

Sometimes, I wonder if you're conscious of our presence
When we look at you in marvel,
at things you do in awe,

I'm amazed at the simpleness of your thoughts
at the small world you live in
as you struggle with each steps forward

Do you grasp the meaning of
the applause when you complete a task
the joy of those who see you progress
the hope many have for your growth

Does it hurt you when people look at you differently
when people whisper as they point
when pity is shown and they treat you delicately

I wish I can do more to ease the world you live in
I wish I can understand things you are trying to reach us in your own unique way
I wish parents can see you as a gift in their lives
I wish the world can acknowledge you as part of the society

I will do in the little way I can to help your walk to be a smoother one
because you are in no way different from us in God's eye....

It has been a long time since I last felt it... This familiar yet distant sensation. Going to a test with contentment that I had studied, answering questions with recollections from my mind, walking out of a test room knowing that somehow, things will be alright, and going back to my room with a confidence that whatever result I may get, will not be too bad.

Ever since the beginning of this semester, i spent sleepless nights studying things I have no memory of during the tests. My mind had been so distracted, and the irony is that, I have no idea what I was thinking most of the time. I walked into test rooms after test rooms with fear, and came out each time feeling more of a scum than before. I thought my brain had stopped functioning, and that it's time I give in to the fact that I've somehow caught idiocy.

Maybe it was God's warning to me, that I really shouldn't take things for granted. Not everyone is as quick to learn and understand. I should take more time to understand them, and be thankful for the brain I was blessed with. Thank God He had not decided to take it all back. Finally, I felt a touch of what I had before. Praise God that I was able to study and remember, and thank God for the awesome study partner I had this afternoon. It was amazing how comfortable and calm I still felt despite the outcome of my first test and with the clock ticking so near. Thanks, mate =) and Lord, You are my shepherd. Thank You Lord for bringing me back whenever i walk astray.

I'm in KL!!! =)

LCCT, KL central, the buss, the jam.. everything seems so familiar, and nostalgic. 3 years, I spent 3 years here... Ok, I'm not going to start another time pass bla bla bla post.

So, at my sis's house now, going UTP tomorrow.

Hope I get a nice roomate. =P

I got PETRONAS SCHOLARSHIP!!! =)

I'm so happy. I thank all of you who prayed for me. This is the power of group prayers =) Hehe... Leaving next week on the 11th. Really looking forward to it. Edrea, I'm coming =P

It's a shame, that I took so long to learn humility. Had I not let my pride took over 3 years ago, had I rely on God and not my strength, I might, I might get this scholarship then, and not waste these 3 years. However, He knew what I needed, for if I had success then, I would only add size to my already big, conceited head. He made me see that true strength is only revealed when I step down and gave Him the throne to lead my life. I got what I wanted, perhaps it is also the road He wanted me to take, but which was delayed due to my ego.

However, it's not fair to make it sounds like I suffered the 3 years I spent in UTM. I enjoyed every minute of it. The laid-back lifestyle, the friends I made, and meeting one of the most important person in my life =) it's like an extra class/lesson i needed to get on to the next level, and I did have a great time attending the class =P

Totally new environment with totally new faces, I'm thrilled =) May God guide me through every minute of my time there like He did till now.

Once, I stretched up high into the sky
With no regards for what's around, I aimed higher and higher
It might be the shaky base
or the unstable midsection
I crumbled
and came tumbling down
For a long period of time, I wallowed in self-pity
I was drugged into unconsciousness by endless of what could have been
I was trapped in past achievements
unable to move forward

But now I know,
destruction is the best opportunity to construct something better than before =)

Hey yo~~ =) Initially, I wish to complete my page layout before getting started, but I found out I can't view the changes i made on my postings(fonts colors and all) if I don't post one first, so here I am. However, it's just a pre-introduction to my site, so I'll just make it short.

Oh yea, the link beneath connects you directly to my previous xanga blog. I had it for more than two years before I was abruptly locked out by the system. So yea, a new blog it is =)